Why a new blog if you already have two? Two reasons: audience access and personal stagnation. I started my Xanga in the summer of 2005 on the eve of my departure to Bible college. In it, I posted various devotional thoughts, along with journalish musings on life. However, with most people moving from Xanga to other places, the blog is now rarely visited. And as some have said, a blog that isn’t read isn’t really a blog. It’s a journal.
I also started another blog, Audax Humilitas, with a friend this last winter. Originally designed to be a sounding board for more weighty theological musings, I found that I didn’t have the inclination to just throw everything out there that was in my brain. It was stagnation in its pure form… I wanted to write more about what Christ was doing in me, rather than heavy topics for dissertation.
Before leaving for school, I was rather set as a moderate Calvinist with antinomian leanings. In many ways I had no clue what I was talking about, and God used the death of a friend my freshman year and sin in my own life to open my eyes. Reading books like Desiring God and Jim Elliot’s Journal showed me the desire of my heart… knowing God.
Through this desire, I have become, after a long and arduous process, what anyone would call a Reformed Baptist. I don’t take the term for myself, but anyone who listens to me talk about theology long enough would label me with such. I have no problem with it… I just don’t take the label. Don’t feel like I need to. I’m still struggling with some things, and I don’t know what subgroup I’ll end ultimately end up getting lumped with (as us young evangelicals eventually do), but I’ve come to discover this: all my musings and such really boil down to one thing… I really want to see Jesus. Like, not just really. But really really. God has blessed me with so much, let it be clear. I am in no way discontent with my life here on earth, save that I want to see The Outcome of my faith.
So I come to this blog. It is intended to be edifying by God-glorification. I want to stir my mind and others to want Him more. This will likely be the longest post you’ll see for some time, as I post daily what I’m reading.